Path of a Shinigami
by wingweever
Summary: When Heero falls in love with Duo, can Duo love him back? Or is he afraid of the pain again?


**_Path of a Shinigami_**

Duo walked down the lonely colony streets. He sighed, looking around. A gust of wind blew past him. He grunted at the colony that so hurt him every day……him and his secret love. No one knew of that feeling that was deep in his heart….that bottomless lake of despair…with that angel beyond the gates….who would dry it up if he would let him.

Duo was afraid of the pain again. Duo had been hurt before, that time long ago. He remembered it to well though, that deep pain. He was a bringer of death…he was the shinigmi…he couldn't let another love him and die because of it.

As he turned the corner he came onto a building, tall, old and dirty. He sighed and walked up to the door, grasping the old handle and turning it slowly. As he opened the door though, a sense of anger hit him. _Why in hell am I stuck here? Why do I go on these stupid missions? _He always wondered that. Why did he subject himself to this sorrow and pain that always hit him on these missions with ……….him. He shuddered and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. He made his way up the creaking stairs on his right, to the top, and opened a door…….666. He wondered why he got THAT room…..he was very superstitious, but there was also something else about that door…that he dare not speak of.

Suddenly that door slammed behind him. He jumped and turned. His cobalt eyes met those Prussian blue ones, and something struck him inside, Heero.

"Where have you been?"

"Nowhere."

Heero gave a nod, and that look…..another lecture.

"You know you can't be out walking around like that…it could jeopardize the mission!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah………preach you bullshit to someone who cares."

"You'd better care Duo! Unless you'd rather be the next to fall in combat."

He looked dead on at those eyes again, and he saw something he knew he didn't want to see…….worry. He pushed Heero away from the door and ran outside, away from the anger, the hatred….and that angel that watched over that lake of despair with those damned worried eyes.

It was pouring rain now, but he didn't care. He ran to the outer edge of that city. He ran as fast as his legs would take him, until he finally collapsed. His eyes closed, as he lay on the cement in the pouring rain. He became aware of his body becoming numb, he knew he was hurt, but he didn't care. Suddenly he felt himself being lifted, his body involuntarily moving. He stood up, a little shaky, and walked forward. His legs hurt badly, and as he lifted them they felt as if they were made of lead. His arms, now covered in bruises and blood, were as cold as ice. Tears that were unnoticed by the rain were streaming down his face. He stared down at the ground as he walked, but suddenly looked up. He saw a small bench on the outskirts of that concrete park. Slowly sitting down, he gave a few whimpers as the pain caught up with him. He closed his eyes as thoughts slowly drifted through his mind.

_Why does he do that? Can't he just leave me alone? ………I wish he would just……leave me alone…….._ He sighed and realized he really didn't want that.

He looked down at his hands, now frozen from the rain, blood running down them from the fall.

Out of nowhere something grabbed his shoulder from behind, not hard….but hard enough. He whimpered from a small previous battle wound. As he turned, his eyes went wide to stare into those Prussian eyes again….filled with more worry than before.

"You're going to get sick……."

"Go away"

"No"

"Why?" He looked grumpily at Heero.

"Because….I….."

Duo jumped up, he didn't want to hear what he was going to say. That bloody hand moved before he could think about it, and he heard a harsh crack. Blood now covered Heero's left cheek. Heero's eyes went from worried, to saddened. Duo's eyes went wide again…._what did I do?_

Suddenly he made a break for it, running as fast as his hurt body would run, but it wouldn't help. Heero grabbed him from behind, tightly around his waist. Duo's body gave up, and he collapsed into Heero's arms.

He moved slowly, feeling the warmth and light of the sun on his face. His body's ache fading into emptiness. His heart felt wounded though. As he moved to sit up, a sharp sting went through him, and he felt his bandages tighten. Suddenly a hand pushed him down.

"Relax"

He growled, and jerked his shoulder away from that hand. But he lay down.

He looked over at Heero, and had to stop himself from crying, a bandage laying gently over Heero's left cheek. Those sad eyes staring down at him. Duo closed his eyes to get that image out. Suddenly a hand went and rested on his cheek, and his eyes snapped open. He couldn't stop what happened next.

As tears streamed down his face he leaned up, crashing his lips against the "perfect soldier's". His world exploded.

He felt hands on his shoulders, grasping him tight, not letting him move away. He whimpered into the kiss. His body began to shake, until he finally couldn't take it anymore, and collapsed again, into Heero's arms. Heero gave a small, content smile above him.

As his eyes opened and scanned the room he saw no Heero, no signs of any life. He sat upright, his body aching. He stood up slowly, making his way to the dresser. He fell against it. His breath coming in raged gasps as his body felt as if it was being stabbed with a thousand knives. He reached in and grabbed his pants and shirt.

After throwing on is clothes, and grabbing his gun, he made his way out of the room. He halted, seeing a sleeping Heero on the couch. As stealthy as an injured Gundam pilot could, he snuck past Heero and walked out the door. Making his way as quickly as he could down the stairs. But as he went out the door, he heard a familiar tone of voice behind him,

"So where do you think your going?"

He turned to see an upset Heero.

"It's none of your business."

Heero grabbed onto Duo's waist. Duo screamed.

"LET GO OF ME YOU…….YOU…..GAY ASS PERVERT!"

The pressure on his lower half went away as Heero stood and backed away. Those eyes changed again…….now filled with regret, self hatred, and abandon.

_Oh no……what did I do? ….. _Duo reached out to grab the retreating Heero, but as soon as his hand grabbed onto the darker haired boy above him, he jerked away and was thrown against the wall. He screamed as his wounds felt as if they were burning. He looked up and was stricken speechless as he watched Heero, fleeing from the seen.

He heard a door slam; from up those stairs…he knew it was Heero. He sighed…..anger welling up inside of him.

He looked down, eyes slowly closing. Opening them, he stepped outside once more, this time with no intent on returning. He walked in the, once again, pouring rain. _Why does this stupid colony like the fucking rain so much?_ But as mad as he was about the rain…he wasn't really all that mad.

His hands in his pockets, he walked slowly to the hanger where the Deathsythe was being held. As he looked upon the large grey building, his mind wandered to Heero, and what he knew he was doing.

He sighed, stepping into the building. He heard a small squeak as someone walked up next to him. He looked over to see a smaller, young, blond man, a clipboard in hand, smiling up at him. He looked down grimly.

"Why good afternoon Duo."

"What makes it good Quatre?"

Duo sighed, and slowly walked over to a clipboard in front of his Deathsythe. He began reading over the previous repairs to fix all the battle damages. He sighed again.

"Something wrong?"

"Life."

"Want to talk about it?"

Duo shook his head slowly.

Quatre smiled. He couldn't understand how Duo felt.

He began to hit a few buttons on the panel next to the Deathsythe.

"Going somewhere?"

A familiar voice rang out. He turned to see a tall, brown haired boy looking at him form a doorway.

"Oh…hello Trowa" Quatre said cheerfully.

"It's none of your business Trowa."

"Isn't it Heero's, he's your partner after all."

"IT'S NO ONE'S BUT MY OWN"

His voice rang through the almost empty building. He looked to see an understanding Trowa, and a quivering Quatre. Trowa walked over, putting his arms around Quatre, holding him steady.

"Duo…be careful…..do what you must….but…."

Trowa stopped and looked at the boy he was holding. Duo understood.

He pushed a few more buttons, and the elevator came down, he hopped in and jumped in the cockpit. With a small nod and flick of the wrist, the cockpit closed, and he took off.

He watched the colony vanish behind him, and the light around him fade. He sighed, remembering Heero, but continued, picking up speed. He hit a button, and pounding metal music screamed through the cockpit. He closed his eyes, then opened them, and sped away.

He looked around, until he saw the newly repaired and upgraded radar. A small blip showing, he smiled. _There is_ _no one for probably a hundred thousand miles now._

Suddenly a small colony came into site. He clicked up information on one of his view screens. As he read over it, he sped past. He wanted to find a place no one would ever come for him.

The metal song changed, into a slower song filled with what seemed to be all his pain. He sang along, and his eyes began to flicker shut. An air of drowsiness flooded over him. As he reached the next colony, reading over the stats, he decided to stay for a little bit. He landed in an unused hanger, and jumped out. He sniffed around, the air was heavy. He didn't care, he was too tired.

He lay against the gundam, and fell to sleep under his black leather jacket.

He awoke with the sun shining in from the broken windows. A small breeze passed through the old building. He heard a few birds outside. As he sat up, his jacket fell off onto his lap. He grabbed, his coat, stood up, and climbed back into his cockpit, he felt Heero…..they reminded him of him. He had to get away.

He took off as fast as he had come. This time, the music was more warlike, less sad and angry. After hours, he grew tired and bored once more.

Suddenly he was picking up a transmition. He flipped on the monitor and saw Trowa's face on the screen.

"What is it Trowa?"

"Hey man…..something I got to tell you…."

"What the hell is it? You're bugging me!"

A pause came.

"Well?"

"Heero is looking for you."

"SO?"

Another pause and a sigh came from the other end.

"Trowa…you didn't give him my current location did you?"

"Well…no…but,"

"So what's your point then?"

"I didn't have to give them to him….I put a tracker in your gundam……"

"No…..Trowa….."

"I'm sorry Duo."

"Bastard!"

He angrily flipped off the monitor at that last word. As much as he hated to say this, he had to get away from his Gundam. He landed on the next colony, hiding his Gundam, and ran for it.

He ran until he couldn't anymore. He wound up in front of a small abandoned building. As he looked around….his heart broke….he knew where he was. He was home. He was back in front of his old apartment building, on the L2 colony. Tears threatened to spill over their boundaries.

He ran to the door, and picked the lock. He ran inside and up to that room. Room 666. He kicked open the door. It was still as dirty as it was when he left. He looked out the broken window, down at the streets below him. It was going to be dark soon, and he was starving.

He walked back out, and "commandeered" a bite to eat. As he slowly ate the food in front of him, tears streamed down his face. He set it down, pulling an old blanket he found in a closet over him, he closed his eyes and fell to sleep…..the same way he used to. He cried himself to sleep.

His mind woke up, with sun on his face, but he didn't open his eyes. He felt remarkable warm. He felt, wrapped in tight, and safe. He heard breathing, and he wondered if it was his.

Something moved closer to him, warmth wrapped around him. His eyes snapped open. As he looked over, he saw Heero, holding him tight, the remains of tears on his face. Heero was holding him tight.

He tried hard to pull away without waking Heero, but he failed. Heero's eyes slowly slid open. He leaned down and kissed Duo's lips. Duo struggled away from that warmth. Heero had him trapped in his arms.

"Heero…let go."

He growled at him.

"No."

Heero replied with a soft, sad voice.

"Now…."

"No."

"NOW!"

"NO"

Heero held him harder, those deadly eyes, bearing down on his, penetrating his whole being. Those strong hands running over him.

Duo whimpered…he couldn't take that glare…those hands…he snapped. Tears streamed down Duo's face. He pushed at Heero.

"Leave me alone…just go, the hell away…."

Heero let go, and Duo retreated into the corner of the bed. Heero moved a little closer.

"Duo…I love you…at least tell me why you won't love me."

Duo's eyes closed slowly.

"I can't….not anymore….not after…" Duo shook his head.

"Duo?"

Duo's cries became harder. Flashes of his past screamed through his head, and he pushed himself against Heero.

"Duo….."

Heero wrapped his arms around duo, as Duo returned the comfort.

"…I…..aishiteru Duo."

Heero kissed Duo, slowly sliding his tongue into that warm crevice, licking everywhere, playing with Duo's tongue. They felt themselves come to life. Heero Began to grind himself against Duo's hardness. Slowly, Heero ran his hands over Duo's body, under his shirt. He began kissing Duo's neck, a slow trail down Duo. Duo began to quiver. Heero quickly shed both of their clothing. He latched onto Duo's collarbone. Duo let out a yelp. Heero looked up at him.

"Duo…please….I want to taste you."

Duo gulped, but nodded his head slowly…he could let Heero love him.

Heero kissed a slow trail down Duo, only stopping to tease his nipple's in his mouth. When Heero finally reached Duo's naval, Duo was a whimpering mass of pleasure. He couldn't stop himself from moaning as Heero flicked an experienced tongue into Duo's naval.

"Heero…..please…."

Heero glanced up at him, only to stare down at the shaft in front of him. He blew across it, and Duo let out a hoarse whimper. Heero placed him mouth overt he tip, letting his tongue come to flick the liquid pearl that had built up on the end. Duo's hands immediately were thrown into Heero's hair.

Heero put all of Duo into his mouth, and felt Duo squirm and wriggly as he hit the back of his throat. Heero hummed, sending Duo into a frenzy.

"Heero…I….can't…..please…" He whimpered.

Heero sucked hard, letting Duo cum into his mouth, and he drank him down greedily. Heero, slowly released Duo, and stared up at him. He grabbed onto Duo's shoulder's, rising up, and kissing him passionately, letting Duo taste himself on him. Duo whimpered into Heero's mouth.

He pulled away from the long haired boy beneath, he stood up, searching a bag he had thrown under the bed. Obviously finding what he wanted, he moved back.

"Duo….I want to be inside you."

Heero pressed against Duo's entrance, his fingers lubed. Duo only nodded. Heero smiled, pressing a finger in at a time into Duo, until Duo rocked back against him. Heero pulled his fingers out, lubed himself, and got in position. Slowly he pushed inside of Duo, making sure to let Duo adjust after getting past a ring of muscle. Duo whimpered.

As soon as Heero was fully sheathed, he stopped. Duo pushed against him, but Heero held his hips steady. He bent down and kissed Duo passionately. He began slowly easing in and out of Duo. Duo grabbed onto the bed, clutching the blankets with white knuckles. Heero grabbed one of duo's hands and kissed it.

"Relax love."

Slowly Duo relaxed and his pain turned to pleasure. Heero moved faster, bucking into Duo. He grabbed onto Duo and pumped him. Duo's vision blurred and he cam onto Heero's stomach. Heero cam deep inside him. He wobbled a little, but pulled out of Duo before collapsing on him. They both fell to sleep.

Slowly Duo opened his eyes. His body covered in warmth. Heero's arms were wrapped around him. He smiled, finally finding the peace and comfort he needed.

Suddenly he heard a beep from Heero's laptop. Heero woke up, pulling away from him, opening the laptop, with a sigh turning to duo.

"Heero?"

Heero didn't make eye contact, but slowly got dressed. Duo followed in his actions.

"Heero?"

"We have another mission."

Duo nodded.

Suited in their Gundams, they flew toward the enemy. Duo had his CD blaring, he had to keep focused on his enemy, and he had to stay alive for Heero.

Heero flew toward the enemy, fighting close range. Suddenly he looked over and saw his koi in a harsh battle.

Duo slashed away, but enemy after enemy coming from nowhere attacked him, weakening his Gundam.

Heero's eyes went wide as he flew to Duo. A Mobile Suit was about to Hit him with a large Beam Cannon.

"DUO!"

The Mobile Suit fired……….

A Large flashed in front of everyone as they tried to regain control of their Gundams. Pieces of metal flew threw space. A pair of eyes filled with tears.

The battle raged on, missiles firing, cannons blasting, until it was won. But it was a bitter victory.

Wufei patted the boy on the back.

"Its ok man…..we're here for you."

He turned to them all, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei. He hung his head.

"Come on…why don't we go…..let's get something to eat."

He shook his head slowly.

"Don't be to long…we'll let you have your space…ok?"

He nodded, and watched them leave.

As tears streamed down his face he looked at the grave marker.

"This is my fault you know…I knew what was happening…I couldn't stop it….forgive me"

He closed his eyes.

"I love you….." He whispered.

He placed a hand on the grave stone.

"We'll be together again…."

He leaned down kissing the grave stone.

As he stood up, watching the sun set. Then turning back to the grave stone and whispered a final goodbye.

"I'll always love you……..and I always have…my Heero."

_Owari_


End file.
